When Morons Design Economic Policy: A Comedy of Errors

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Yihune Ephrem Kassahun



Imagine a world where economic policies are crafted by a bunch of well-meaning but utterly clueless individuals. Picture a scenario where the collective wisdom of a group of people who barely passed high school math is applied to a nation's economic strategy. Welcome to the hilarious rollercoaster ride of what happens when morons design economic policy.

 

 The Grand Plan: "Let’s Just Print More Money!"

 

Our story begins with a groundbreaking idea from the head honcho of the Moron Economic Committee (MEC): “Why don’t we just print more money? That way, everyone will have enough, and no one will be poor!” Sounds foolproof, right?

So, they fire up the printing presses. Within weeks, every citizen is a millionaire! Unfortunately, a loaf of bread now costs a billion bucks. Hyperinflation runs rampant, and people start using stacks of cash as building blocks for their kids’ playhouses.

 Taxing the Air We Breathe

Next on the agenda, the MEC decides to introduce the "Air Usage Tax." Their logic is simple: Everyone needs air, so why not tax it? The revenue potential is infinite!

Suddenly, people are holding their breath to save money. Yoga studios offer classes in "Advanced Breath Control" to help citizens reduce their air tax liability. Gas mask sales skyrocket, and a new black market for free-range, untaxed air emerges.

 The Inverted Stimulus Package

To stimulate the economy, the MEC rolls out an inverted stimulus package. Instead of giving money to the people, they ask citizens to donate to the government to show their patriotism.

 

Desperate for funds, the government sets up lemonade stands and car washes. Politicians are seen holding bake sales outside their offices. A national “Donate Your Last Dollar” campaign sweeps the nation, and people start trading casseroles for favors.

 The Great Barter System Revival

The MEC, in their infinite wisdom, decides to abolish currency altogether and revert to a barter system. After all, it worked for our ancestors, right?

Chaos ensues as people try to trade chickens for iPhones and goats for gasoline. Barter fairs pop up everywhere, and the value of goods becomes wildly subjective. One man famously trades a used lawnmower for a slightly dented Ferrari, while another trades his soul for a cup of coffee.

 The “Everyone Gets a Job” Initiative

In an attempt to tackle unemployment, the MEC implements the “Everyone Gets a Job” initiative. Every single citizen, regardless of skill or interest, is assigned a government job.

Soon, the streets are filled with bewildered bakers trying to fix plumbing, former accountants herding goats, and toddlers assigned to city planning. Productivity plummets as people spend more time Googling “How to do my job” than actually working.



While the above scenarios are fictional and exaggerated for comedic effect, they underscore an important truth: Economic policy should be designed by experts, not morons. The complexities of a nation’s economy require thoughtful, informed decision-making, not harebrained schemes that sound like they came from a late-night infomercial.

So, next time you read about a new economic policy, take a moment to appreciate the brains behind the operation. And remember, at least it wasn’t designed by the Moron Economic Committee.

 

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